Are you living life by design or default?

"Every year you make a resolution to change yourself. This year, make a resolution to be yourself." ~ unknown

An entire year has transpired and I have nothing to show for it… How did I let this happen? Perhaps I need to revisit my deep disdain for goal setting, planning and all other magic solutions promised by one guru or another. Hmmm, this just might be worth exploring, digging deeper and uncovering a belief, a truth?Are my 2022 accomplishments celebration worthy? It took me a while to recognize the answer. What kept me from rejoicing in my list?

Reflect without judgment

I fell back into the trap of seeing my list through other’s eyes - through the eyes of my ‘self’ that used to be - the self critic seeking validation from others before self. I lost sight of the extraordinary in my life - the life I choose for myself and no one else.Instead of celebrating, I found myself judging! At a glance, there’s nothing about expanding my coaching clientele, nothing about the book I’m going to write (someday), nothing about income… AH! There it is… the lingering link between what matters most and what I used to measure my successes by.So it got me thinking… time to practice what I love to preach. I reflect back on the year - record the highlights, the fun stuff, the accomplishments. It’s not a bad list, even has some new stuff.

Change your thoughts, change your life

It takes me a while. In fact, writing this blog reveals missing pieces of the puzzle. I need to change my thinking. At the same time, I need to dig at the roots, seek deeper understanding of why I’m going off the rails.The story is rooted in contemplating if I lived this past year more by default than design. The answer begins with - how do these experiences make me feel? Returning to my self proclaimed practice of defining how I want the year to feel, I find an entry in my journal… 'Connection is my intention for 2022 - deep personal impactive connection.'When I look through this new lens… things are much brighter with my rose coloured glasses. Suddenly I see all the ways in which I ‘allowed’ things to present themselves, letting go of the deeply ingrained ‘must make happen’ ideal.I suppose I’d be remiss to not share the experiences that resonate so deeply with my newfound joy of reflection rather than regret. The list encompasses personal triumphs, relationship rallies, travel and adventure. I won’t encumber you with all of it… instead I center how ‘Connection’ played out in my experiences of 2022.

Holding safe and sacred space

Women Wisdom ‘n Wine… began as an ‘experiment’, fueled by a deep desire to find and create meaningful connections with a collection of like minded women. I reached out to 12 contacts in my email list, sharing my vision, offering a safe and sacred space for six equally inclined and slightly curious women.After a couple false starts - thank you Covid-19 for showing me how much grace I could garner for myself, we connected on May 5. It was magical, beyond my expectations - easily done when your interest lies in the experience itself… allowing everyone to share and be heard, free of judgment.The experiment is complete and Women, Wisdom ‘n Wine is now a part of what I do, how I present and offer myself. If 2023 allows, it will expand to more offerings, granting more women a place to foster deeper connection with themselves and others.To date, 10 women have been part of the collective, some from the very beginning, 13 gatherings behind us. I’ll keep hosting, holding sacred, safe space as long as there are those seeking a place to explore what’s possible.

Holding space for grief and loss

Central Okanagan Hospice Association Volunteer… it has never been on my radar. In fact it has been high on my avoidance scale to be in the presence of the terminally ill and dying. Holding space for those left to deal with the void, grappling with loss during and after.And yet, my decision to follow this path laid before me has already garnered a deeper, more meaningful connection to myself, my life and those I am so privileged to serve. To follow my heart, listen to my calling, replace fear with courage - this single act gives rise to proclaiming 2022 ‘my best year ever’.

The power of silence

Vipassana, 10 day Silent Meditation Retreat… the seed planted a few years ago, taking root and germinating into a proposition not to be ignored. Unbeknownst to me, I would find a connection with others, strangers offering friendship, yet to be nourished, there to explore.I leave you with the takeaway I shared with my new ‘friends’ when asked what the experience was like for me… “the most valuable gift I have ever given myself”. I encourage everyone to give themselves this very gift and I’m happy to share more with you… perhaps I’ll share it here.

In truth, I’m still grappling a little in reflecting on 2022. There’s a little more mucky stuff than I’d care to admit. At the same time, it’s real and there are lessons to be had. We’ll leave those for another day.

Whatever your experience of 2022, my hope is you can draw on more of the good stuff than not so good, find your lesson, celebrate and look forward to your next ‘best year ever’.If you’re open to sharing your own experience, I invite you to do so with me here.

Photo contributed by the author.

Affiliate links are shared solely as resources you might enjoy, learn from and grow or completely ignore - I do not benefit in any other way.Hi, I’m Donna. I’m deeply passionate about helping you achieve more than you imagine possible; overcome limiting beliefs and create practices aligned with who you are so you may live an extraordinary life. I invite you to explore and discover how extraordinary you already are in your 45-minute no-obligation ‘Discovery Call‘.