A Conversation with my 77 Year Old Self

Today is my birthday! I celebrate my 57 years on the planet - as a daughter, sister, auntie, friend and lover. I celebrate it all, the good stuff, the mucky and the heart wrenching - ALL OF IT! For it has brought me to my 57th year.

If you’ve been following me for long, you’ll recall one of my earlier blogs, 7 Lessons for my 21 Year Old Self. Reflecting on the lessons I shared then, I find a deep longing to reach out to my future self. For her, I can do more than just reflect.

I can help her see how magnificent she is and remind her how she wanted to show up at 77.

You might be thinking, “Why worry about 20 years from now?” Here’s the thing, it’s not worry, it's by ‘design’. In being intentional in how I want to show up when I’m 77, 88 or maybe even 99… I eliminate the ‘worry’. The lies, the mindset that our culture dictates is NOT how I want to age.

And so, I ask myself, “What is most important for me to remember in 20 years?” As it turns out, there’s a lot I think I know now that I want to know then…

I hope I’m here to read these in 20 years. More importantly as I read them, I hope I remember why I wrote them in the first place… a reminder of what a special gift I have been given in the life I get to live.

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable

“Know that you are the perfect age. Each year is special and precious, for you shall only live it once. Be comfortable with growing older.”
~ Louise Hay ~

You might be thinking by now you’ve earned the right to just sit back, relax and live in comfort. True… the other truth is so much of the best things in your life have come out of discomfort. In stepping into discomfort, you overcome your fear and your experiences become even richer.

Remind yourself when you’re resisting a new idea, opportunity or experience, it’s your fear getting in the way. In becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable you are making a commitment to grow, expand and experience your life. It will keep you younger at heart, kinder with others and open your mind to the joy of living well.

Laugh and love loudly

“Laughter is the corrective force which prevents us from becoming cranks.” – Henri Bergson

I take pause here, remembering a time when I held back my laughter, my joy - for fear of being noticed, judged. It is an ongoing practice to release what is inside, to let the joy and love sing loudly.

Don’t take yourself so seriously that you lose your laughter and love for yourself and others. Of the fears you hold today when looking to your future - finding love, joy and laughter in the everyday is one you must remember.

Of course a lot will happen between now and then. More heartbreak, loss and realization. But if you can hang on to laughter and love, you will attract more of it. It will surround you and no matter what life is throwing at you, you will muster up the grace, gratitude and resilience to keep laughter and love in your life.

Practice gratitude even in your grief

Perhaps this is where I will discover my naivety of being ‘only’ 57. We all experience grief in our lives and each of us moves through it in our own unique way. There was a time I simply avoided it.

I stepped into my discomfort in a big way as a volunteer with the Central Okanagan Hospice Association. In my limited time working with the dying and the grieving, I’ve witnessed the beauty of gratitude. Where one may be rightfully inclined to bitterness and regret, turning on the gratitude button allows for the grief to exist yet not consume.

I believe if when grief is present I first reach for gratitude, I will keep love, joy, hope and kindness in my heart.

Move your body, move your mind

Keep moving, keep learning, keep questioning your own beliefs, limitations and ‘what you’ve always done’. I used to go to the gym, play sports, run… to look good, to fulfill someone else’s version of how I was supposed to look. Now I stay active, doing the things that I love to do and make me feel good on the inside and outside.

There are things within my control and not. I commit to my own well-being to maintain my health and fitness for it is mostly in my control. The healthier my practices today and tomorrow, the more likely I will experience good health with longevity.

Your mind and body are one, not separate. Keep your mind moving and your body will follow. One does not survive without the other. Give yourself permission to move through your pain, your anguish and your resistance.

Stay curious and create with abandon

“Your 40s are good. Your 50s are great. Your 60s are fab. And 70 is f*@king awesome!” ~Helen Mirren

When I used to experience success as I understood it to be, I didn’t feel happy or fulfilled.. When I chose to be curious and explore my creativity, I found pure joy, pure love and purpose.

In staying curious, it is my intention to avoid falling into judgment. Curiosity keeps me learning before knowing - open to possibility. The opposite of curiosity is closed mindedness - it keeps my mind from moving.

Find ways to create - forget about if it’s ‘good’ or not. You don’t have to share it but I hope you will do so with abandon. Draw or paint if it brings you joy. Dance and sing when the desire shows itself. Wear clothing that expresses who you are, not how old you are. Feel the freedom to live life on your terms.

It turns out, my 21 year old self has a lesson to share with my 77 year old self.

“Grab every opportunity. Make it your priority to experience life at its fullest each and every day. Be unstoppable with your dreams, despite what others may say. Listen to the voice deep inside you. Fight the urge to say yes, when you really want to say no. Say yes to the things that scare you most – they are calling for you!”

What do you want to tell your future self? I’d love to hear if you’re willing to share - you can email me here. I read them all!

Feature Photo by Tiago Muraro on Unsplash