Why I Think Goal Setting Sucks
I wonder how many millions of dollars have been made by the “goal setting” gurus over the years. Countless, yet I don’t know about you, but for me goal setting just doesn’t cut it. I’m talking about the generic, everyone does it, everyone tells you the way to do it right to get the results you want.
Not for this gal. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried it, I’ve given it a pretty good shot, more than once actually. Here’s what I’ve come to understand……
There are at least two ways to think about goal setting. It’s not that the tried and true is wrong, IT JUST DOESN'T WORK the way it’s supposed to (for everyone). I’m pretty sure Stephen Covey or James Clear would say otherwise. The problem is ...... typical goal setting is all about success on a measurable scale, like profit increase, dollars earned, sales targets blown away.
There was a time I prescribed to it all, a time when I marched to the corporate drum, to the career ladder marathon and I drank the kool-aid for a long time.
I’ve never been especially fond of New Year’s resolutions for much of the same reasons. Deciding at the onset of a New Year that now is the time to change our life, drastic changes that in most instances we haven’t considered the real “why” or the true benefit of the typical, “losing weight”, “working out more”, “eating well”. Come on, I know you’ve considered one of these at least once in your lifetime.So, here’s what I do instead! I have to tell you.... it started somewhat by accident. I create a “MANTRA”, a logo or statement that defines how I want to show up that year. Yes, it might sound a lot like Nike’s “Just Do It”, but the thing is….IT INSPIRES ME and I’ve had so many amazing life altering experiences since.
It all started in 2016!
My “mantra” (you can call it a goal if want) became “BEST YEAR EVER”. In a year of recovery and discovery, I was finally emerging from a long journey fraught with mental, physical and personal challenges. It truly seemed that the pending year offered great promise, great reward and so it was.Here’s what happened in “My Best Year Ever”
- I turned 50
- I got my first and so far only tattoo (much larger than imagined), inspired by a painting of an artist friend and a childhood memory of my “Granny’s” garden
- My second marriage (of 12 years) ended unceremoniously
- My career was slowly unravelling (not that I noticed) and by mid year...
- I hit my “rock bottom”
- Ouch! Not really! Of course there was heartbreak and pain but in the end, it truly was my best year ever
- I’ll tell you more about all the great things that happened another day, another blog. For now, you’ll just have to take my word for it.
2017 became the year of “JUST SAY YES”.
This mantra demanded clarification, “If you find yourself wanting to say no, you have to JUST SAY YES!” So I did!
- I was “downsized” out of my corporate career
- I went hang-gliding for the first time ever
- I became a Wild Land Firefighter (something I would have definitely done in my 20’s)
- I learned to rock climb (another 20 something dream) in the iconic Joshua Tree, Yosemite and even the Baja
- I spent the final days of the year exploring California, Idaho, Arizona and the Baja
- I left the soul sucking corporate life behind forever
- I learned to live life the way I wanted
2018 was the year of “DO SOMETHING THAT SCARES YOU”
- Spent the first 60 days continuing to explore California and the Baja
- Divorce papers arrived the day before my 52nd birthday
- One of my dearest friends had a HEART ATTACK at a very fit “almost 53” (okay, not my choice but it definitely scared the SHIT outta me)
- Inherited my own crew in my second season firefighting and the aftermath of a romance gone wrong
- Headed out into the worst fire season in history with a crew comprised of a former inmate (for stabbing a man), a parolee for what I preferred not to know and a recovering alcoholic
- Registered as a consultant with Beautycounter
- Resisted the urge (purely financial) to return to the corporate life
- Acquired my Level 2 Reiki certification
- Rented the upper floor of my home and created my own piece of “paradise” downstairs
- Mother/Daughter trip (and sister/brother-in-law) for a week in Maui
2019 culminated the three previous years of mantras with “JUST LET IT BE” and a knowing that something amazing was just around the corner.
In the spirit of “Best Year Ever, “Just Say Yes”, “Do Something that Scares You”, I accepted an invitation to a rather unorthodox celebration. Fast forward a few weeks later...
- LOVE in a way I no longer thought possible or dared to believe in
- I was attacked (defending my dog) by a RACCOON (times 2) in my own house
- Became an orchard hand (short lived), thinning and picking apples in my friends orchard
- Created and delivered a program targeted for "Women in Leadership"
- An amazing 15 days in Portugal (Lisbon, Porto, Faro, The Fisherman’s Trail)
- Another 6 days in Italy (Rome, Florence, Orvieto, Cinque de Terra)
- Created a website to host my very own blog
Achieve - Balance - Create
I’ve elected to pivot slightly for 2020. Instead of the mantra, I chose 3 words to guide how I want to show up by this year. That’s the other great thing about saying no to goal setting and resolutions. You can do it whenever and however you want. You decide when to start and your checklist becomes the things that you remember, the things that mattered most and so much more than numbers gained or lost.
I DARE YOU TO TRY IT!
Just this once, see how much richer life becomes, how much more you experience and grow without a measuring stick. Try it out - create your mantra - choose your guide words - set your intention for how you want to show up!
What is your mantra? What words will define how you show up in 2020?