What makes for an extraordinary life?

Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

“Your long-term happiness and fulfillment depend on your ability to fulfill your soul’s unique purpose and to fill the place in the world that only you can fill, making the contribution that only you can make.”

~ Rod Stryker ~

I’ve hit the halfway point in my 75 day quest to live an extraordinary life.  I’m not sure if I’m underwhelmed, pensive or delusional in my state of being.  What has the past 38 days been and what do I want the remainder to feel like?It occurs to me we all have our own definition of ‘extraordinary’.  Of course that’s a rather obvious statement… I wonder how much we value the potential of extraordinary?There was a time I would have suggested extraordinary felt like a big house on the hill, fancy car (2 would be even better) and a c-suite career.  Hmmm, I had all of that - twice in fact and it didn’t feel extraordinary at all.Yesterday I was reminded of how simple ‘extraordinary’ can be… attending a rather impromptu family reunion.  Close to 40 of us, falling within the still present restrictions of COVID-19, gathered in a backyard… ages somewhere between 2 and 88, representing up to 4 generations.

Sometimes the most ordinary things could be made extraordinary, simply by doing them with the right people.

~Nicholas Sparks ~

At times I was absorbed in conversation, reconnecting with cousins… some of whom I had not seen in a number of years.  We reflected on earlier years in the presence, the home of ‘Granny’.  I am reminded of how ‘extraordinary’ she was.  The proof?  Here we were, her beloved family… gathering, cherishing, loving, healing, remembering… just as she would have wanted it to be.Other times, I refuged behind my camera… wanting to capture the moments I was not directly part of but reminded me of another time, when I only knew life as extraordinary.  Observing the goings on, wondering and hoping each had at least a small sense of extraordinary.

What makes for an extraordinary life?

#1 Be fully present…

By far, the most significant change I have made in my life is becoming more present.  My ability to sit with others, to listen to their stories, to feel their joy, their sorrow, their comfort/discomfort… while staying connected.  It’s as much a gift to them as a gift to myself.When we are present, we are living in the now, not the past or the future… nor are we entangled in thoughts of lack or worry, self absorbed in what could have been or might be.  Being present is ‘extraordinary’... without knowing directly, it makes others feel love, kindness, whatever it is they most need, is found in your presence.  Could there be anything more extraordinary?

#2 Appreciate the little things…

I once abhorred being in the presence of small children, annoyed by the shrillness of their joy, irritated by the seeming indifference of inattentive guardians.  Now I revel in the purity of a feeling I endeavour to recreate so that I too may scream with glee at the sight of a butterfly, the endless possibility of a mud puddle or the sensation of ice cream running down my face.The beauty of children lies in not knowing the world of judgment, pressure and self loathing.  My wish for the world is for us each to see it through the eyes of our inner child.  What has become a conscious choice to see the good, to appreciate the smallest of moments… to see the world… our individual lives as extraordinary.I now choose to look through the eyes of my inner child, to see the possibilities, the kindness and the unbridled joy that is right in front of me.

#3 Love yourself inside out...

Pay attention to how you feel when you’re alone, with others, walking by a mirror.  If you feel anything but gratitude, admiration, love… start here. As I list my musings it becomes less and less clear which is the greatest lesson of all.  Perhaps the real lesson is in moving through each as we gravitate toward our extraordinary.My comfort in being alone aided me in much healing… and it concealed a treacherous slope of inner narrative slowly diminishing my voice, my heart, my being.  Of all the things we must cherish most… the face (body) in the mirror, the inner well being of knowing peace with who we are.In learning to love who I am, I found the peace, freedom and love I was seeking from others.  Nourish your body, nourish your heart and love yourself from the inside out.

#4 Get curious...

In getting curious, I discover just how extraordinary others are living.  Within curiosity exists a genuine desire to listen.  In listening with an open heart, an open mind I discover what matters most to others.  I allow them to speak their own truth, to manifest it into life beyond just their thoughts.Be curious about what makes others tick.  Look for the ‘light in their eyes’ when they speak of reciting the poem their dad wrote for mom; the grown child finding his way; the grandchild’s latest conquest or taking his/her first step.I once confused curiosity with nosiness, causing me to shy away from the deeper conversations.  I realize now it was my own fear of opening up to others.  In learning to be curious, I no longer resist expressing my own thoughts, fears and dreams.

#5 Embrace your creativity…

“I don’t have a creative bone in my body - that’s what the camera is for”... this belief system sat dormant for many years and I truly felt uncreative, unworthy of being referred to as an artist, creative…My invitation is to shift the lens in how you define being creative.  Whether you draw really poor stickmen or can create a scene on canvas to draw the viewer in as if they were there...  Being creative has many forms and it offers pure joy… if we can get over ourselves and stop judging and comparing with others.Aside from photography, one of my favourite creative adventures is getting dirt under my fingernails, planting and sowing the landscape outside my windows.  I even took a stab at water colours recently as part of my promise to do what is creative.  I share it with you (admittedly with a little trepidation) in that I felt pure joy and bliss in the time spent mixing, brushing, gazing.

#6 Define your own success…

I hesitate here for this is where I still struggle most.  To truly separate ourselves from the expectations of others, societal imprinting, past ‘failures’ and forgotten dreams… propels us to living extraordinary.This is where I stray from the norm perhaps in suggesting living an extraordinary life is less about the choices we make… versus how we feel about those choices.  Others would suggest those that live an extraordinary life chose to give up being ordinary/normal.When we are able to define our own success, without comparison and lack… without falling to the judgement of others, are we not living our own version of extraordinary?  If we are at peace with our choices, if we are empty of longing for more, if we fail to settle for less than what we deserve, if our lives are filled with more moments of joy than not….It seems these first 38 days have been my compass… bringing me back to what matters most, cherishing what’s right in front of me.  It’s my reminder - the 2X4 on the forehead - life is extraordinary and I need only look for what makes it so.However you choose to measure extraordinary, I hope in reading this you found more of it…  I’d love to hear what makes for your extraordinary life, if you'll share with me. Hi I’m Donna. I am deeply passionate about helping people achieve more than they thought possible. My unique gift is in unravelling self-sabotage behaviours and creating new practices to help people experience more joy and fulfillment in life, relationships and career.  If you’re even a little curious to explore how to get where you want and deserve to be faster, I invite you to a 30-minute no-obligation discovery call.