Donna Koch

Why I Am Waging War With Resistance

Ways to overcome resistance

“Procrastination seems like a form of personal weakness. But Resistance is a force we can do battle with.”

In his book, “The War of Art”, Steven Pressfield writes about ‘Resistance’ and in particular its power over those who herald to be artists of some sort – writers for example.

It would seem my 75 days to live an extraordinary life and specifically my commitment to a daily writing practice has prepared a well fertilized soil for ‘Resistance’ to grow. It’s hold, subtle at first, has detained me from full mastery of living my extraordinary life.

In failing to be aware… to pay attention to my thoughts, sensations… In these subtle moments ‘Resistance’ flourished and I didn’t sit down and write a thousand words… WORSE, I didn’t write a single word…

I have returned to old habits. I have betrayed my own inner trust by not following my commitment and for a moment… I wasn’t going to tell you a damn thing.

My intention is not to round up the forces or implore you to berate me into submission. There is no benefit to such practice. I know because I once executed the art of self reproach with precision. It did nothing but erode courage, strength and confidence.

5 ways Resistance shows up

#1 Fear

Despite my own fight with fear, it seems I have not conquered it after all. Steven Pressfield suggests fear is good. It’s a sign we are on the right track.

“Resistance is experienced as fear; the degree of fear equates to the strength of ‘Resistance’. Therefore the more fear we feel about a specific enterprise, the more certain we can be that that enterprise is important to us and to the growth of our soul. That’s why we feel so much ‘Resistance’. If it meant nothing to us, there’d be no Resistance.

#2 Procrastination

Resistance differs from procrastination in that it keeps you from completing what you desire… that which you don’t necessarily ‘have to do’. Procrastination allows you to put off what eventually you must do, often creating great angst for yourself and those around you.

Procrastination showed up in some old and new ways for me recently:

suddenly remembering you need to water every plant in the yard by hand

signing up for an online course and never starting/finishing it

surfing the web disguised as research for your new book

taking your dog for a walk at the exact time your online yoga class is about to start

#3 Rationalization

“Rationalization is an unconscious defense mechanism in which perceived controversial behaviors or feelings are logically justified and explained in a rational or logical manner…” (source: Psychology Wiki)

I spent years rationalizing my life, other people’s behaviour, my own behaviour and it kept me from living life on my terms. So when I discovered I was indeed ‘rationalizing’… more aptly, avoiding ‘sitting down and doing the work’, I jumped down the next rabbit hole.

#4 Negative Inner Narrative

Psychology suggests our inner narrative begins at childhood, a learned response or action influenced by our parents, surroundings, culture, etc.. The easy road is to blame it on our past experiences. I choose the road less travelled… to create practices designed to rid or reframe such musing and worry little about where it came from.

In reality the negative narrative is fueled by a common enemy to all humankind, the feeling of ‘not being worthy’, ‘loveable’, ‘good enough’.

#5 Distractions

A close cousin to procrastination, we are inundated with distractions of varying disruptive consequence. As a ‘free spirited and spontaneous soul’, I am easily distracted by the obvious and the not so obvious such as:

frequently verifying there are still 11 goldfish in my outdoor pond

scanning through the photos I haven’t yet deleted off my camera

checking my email for notification someone booked a ‘discovery call’ (even though I turned off notifications so I wouldn’t be disturbed)

creating a really fun and awesome planning tool on Canva (download my free template)

Overcome resistance

 

“Resistance is always lying and always full of shit.”

Resistance has become my latest foe. Where fear and doubt once resided, Resistance has become my mortal enemy… and I wage war on overcoming resistance.

3 Steps to Overcome Resistance

#1 Acknowledge its presence

✅ – I’ve got that one covered. It’s important to realize, it’s not so easy at first. It takes intentional practice and really paying attention to what might get in your way. Expect resistance and you’ll be better prepared to handle it when it emerges. Give thought to how it might show up and you’ll be better armed, ready to push it aside… Make no mistake, I’ve been surprised by how and where it’s been showing up.

#2 Reset and refocus

✅ – I’m 793 words in. Again, not necessarily simple. What’s most important may be what you DON’T do. Don’t beat yourself up. Stop the negative narrative, the one that wants to make you feel unworthy, useless, a failure, never finish anything… Replace the narrative with an affirmative action or statement. Keep it simple. Keep it positive. What matters most is what you do today and… don’t forget to celebrate your wins.

All experiences I encounter shape me to be the highest version of myself.” borrowed from Zanna Keithley’s – Affirmations to Overcome Challenges

#3 Recommit to your Why

✅ – I want to help people live an extraordinary life – however extraordinary looks for them. By practicing what I evangelize, revealing my own struggles… I live my why every day, whether I succumb or triumph. Keeping it real is my built in accountability to my other why… being authentic. This one’s for me, for in being aligned to my own values, I immerse myself in living an extraordinary life.

If in recommitting to your ‘Why‘, you discover it lacking in some way, simply pivot. Be okay with shifting to a new why as long as it’s not disguised in Resistance. When your ‘Why’ is true, when it leaves no room for doubt, you will find your way through Resistance with a little more ease, a little more grace.

Where does resistance show up for you? How do you manage your thoughts, your narrative when it does? I’d love to hear from you if you’re open to sharing…

 

empowerment coaching leadership overcoming fear

Hi I’m Donna. I’m deeply passionate about helping people achieve more than they thought possible by creating habits and practices aligned with who you are and how you want to show up. If you’re even a little curious to explore where ‘Resistance’, is getting in your way, I invite you to a 30-minute no-obligation discovery call. 

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